thanks be with you, and also with you.

Tomorrow evening, I'm catching the train to spend the weekend in Boston for Thanksgiving! I really cannot stress enough how glad I am that this holiday has finally arrived. I miss Jennelley, Tessie, Lucas, AJ, Kate, Dan, the entire Ciulla family, everyone at MJ's... Ahh, to see everyone again is going to be so lovely!

Erika and her best friend Eva held a clothing drive this past weekend, and they ended up collecting nearly 3,000 articles of winter clothing! I am so proud of them, and I find their kind hearts and love for their community to be beyond admirable. There were numerous articles about their cause, cleverly named "Warm A Cold Shoulder", in the newspapers (they were even featured on the local news!) One thing that the girls mentioned really stood out for me though.. Pardon my paraphrasing.. Around the holidays, one thing that people in fortunate circumstances often overlook is the fact that they are WARM. Regardless of shelter, central heating systems, whathaveyou, every person deserves to feel warm during these chilly winter months.

I see homeless people so often around this city that I've gotten used to seeing them, or NOT seeing them, rather. How arrogant is that? Erika and Eva's efforts have really gotten me thinking about my life, the priviledges that I have, and what I am truly thankful for. Thank you, to both of you, for reaching out and giving everything that you could back to your community. The gesture, the warmth, the love, the dedication, and the inspiration that you both exude means more than any amount of money could buy or words could properly express.

I am thankful that I have a loving family that continuously supports my crazy aspirations and decisions. I am thankful that I have a comfortable bed to sleep in every night. I am thankful that I am living in one of the most amazing cities in the world. I am thankful that I am being educated at one of the most incredible universities in the country. I am thankful for the incredible people that I've met throughout my life, and that those people are constantly more than happy and willing to take me under their wing at any moment.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone :)

Xoxoxo

JOURNEY

Last Tuesday, I was walking to class and I noticed a big press conference going on in the middle of Washington Place. I was early for class, so I decided to stick around for a little while and see what all of the commotion was about. I saw Mayor Bloomburg, Emma Thompson, and two other people standing on a stage situated in front of a long row of those large storage portables.

I had seen these portables being delivered throughout the week prior, but I had no idea what they were for. It turns out that this was an art exhibit dedicated to the awareness of sex trafficking in Europe and throughout the world.

This morning, I finally went to go see it, and I am so beyond thankful that I did. Prior to seeing this exhibit, I'd be aware of sex trafficking, but until this afternoon, I realize now that I hardly knew anything. This display is set up as seven different portables all connecting to one another through open passageways.

Each portable focuses on a different step of one particular girl's journey into this awful, unspoken world. It forces the viewer to put themselves into the mind of this young woman, using sounds, smells, and mirrors to further engage the viewer. The one portable that is still making my stomach turn was a bedroom set-up.

I could smell the room before I even stepped through the door, and it was horrendous - Absolutely gut-wrenching. The stench from the dirty carpet, the condoms covering the floor, and the overflowing trash can is still lingering in my nose; at one point, after about thirty seconds in the room, I had to bring my scarf to my face and breath through it because I couldn't stand the smell any longer. There was a motor inside the bed making it move up and down in an obvious sexual rhythm, with a very disturbing soundtrack coming from hidden speakers.

By the time I reached the last portable, I couldn't quite pin-point my emotions. I felt sad, disgusted, dirty, and ashamed, yet also thankfully enlightened. How despicable it is that we live in a world where things like this happen, completely under the radar. Thank God for people like Emma Thompson and the Helen Bamer Foundation for bringing realities like this to the world's attention.

This exhibit is making its way around the country, but it only shows for about a week, and then it moves on. If it happens to come to a city near you, or if you get a opportunity to experience it, I highly recommend you do so. Words cannot describe this experience and the power it conveys.

unbelievably beautiful.

star struck.

UPDATED: 11.11.09

I figure I should probably start a running list of the different celebrities I see in the city. I mean, I spend most of my time in a chic part of Manhattan, so it's bound to happen. Let's see how many I have seen by the end of the year...

(Most recent sighting is listed first, least recent is listed last, etc...)

-James Franco, actor
-JOSH RITTER, musician (my all-time favorite musician, mind you...)
-Emma Thompson, actress
-Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City
-Lance Armstrong, athlete
-Jude Law, actor
-James Cromwell, actor
-Spencer Breslin, actor
-Hilary Duff, actress/singer
-Chris Noth, actor
-Christian Siriano, winner of Project Runway (Season Four)
-Liev Schrieber, actor
-Dara Torres, olympic swimmer

11.5

jump

in my favorite dreams, i go back to that place - our place - with sun and wind caressing a golden blanket that extends as far as our eyes, mine blue, yours brown, can see.

tall, strong cliffs surround our place, noble and eternal. they watched us meet, smile, play, and connect, and they laughed at how young we were. sometimes we climbed those cliffs, not in rebellion but in good fun, and at the top, you stood tall, staring out at the Pacific with awe and so much determination. i looked down at that golden blanket, wondering, pondering, debating, over and over, many times again,

if i were to jump, would you, could you, catch me in time?

i wondered this for a very long while, and by the time i looked back towards you, you had gone away. i don't know what that big, blue ocean was telling you, but you listened. what would those cliffs say to me now? do it. now. just go.

i look down, take a deep breath, and i . . .


the wind strokes my skin with soft fingertips
breath escapes me and doesn't return
fear consumes me, but i embrace it
your light illuminates my horizon
those brown eyes, warm and encouraging,
calling me, comforting me


----

shoulders touch, hands graze, eyes meet
silence.
tall, short, black, white, big, little
unseen.
uptown, downtown, BK, BX, home free, homeless
alone.
happy, sad, laugh, cry, smile, frown
blank.
fall, fall, down, down, down...
gone.

:(

today was a very tragic day. this morning, around 4:30 AM, an NYU student jumped to his death from the 10th floor balcony of the library. i didn't know the young man, but it really upsets me. i've always thought suicide was a very selfish act, and i still think so, but now that this has happened so close to me, to someone my age, to someone in my class, i can't help but feel sad.

I feel like I should have a lot of updates since so much time has passed since my last real post, but I really can't think of anything out of the ordinary to write! I got an A- on my first paper, a C on my second... I've just been unbelievably busy with school, writing papers, reading, finally making friends (!!) and that's really all I've been up to. Halloween is this weekend, and my Boston loves are throwing an incredible party tomorrow night that I can't attend due to my lack of extra finances :( I'm pretty bummed about that, but Zach is taking the train in tomorrow afternoon, so it will be nice to see him again. It's been about seven months! I have no idea what we're going to do, but I'm dressing up as Marilyn Monroe (a classy one, this time...) which should be fun! I mean, it's New York, so I highly doubt we're not going to find anything to do...

insanity.

I've been up getting ready for class since 5 AM, just checked my school e-mail (6:10 AM) and my first class was cancelled! Dang it. So now I finally have some time to write about the last couple of weeks!

Let me just say a few things before I begin: never in my life have I had more school work; never in my life have I been more exhausted; never in my life have I had more fun.

Last Friday (the 9th was it?) one of my best friends Lucas came from Boston for the weekend to visit. I met him at the Bolt Bus terminal around 11 or so, got a delicious and quite expensive sandwich from the Carnegie Deli, and then ventured back to my abode for a little while. Lucas' plan for New York was to venture around the city to eat, trying different cuisines, famous places, classic New York foods ($1 pizza slices, pastrami on rye, etcetc..) and all by walking to these said locations. When we came back into Manhattan, we got off at the NYU stop, wandered around there for a while, snagged a slice of $1 pizza in the East Village, and then casually made our way up to 42nd and 9th so he could check into his hostel. There, we met up with Hunter, walked up to and through a section of Central Park (where Lucas bought a hot dog) and then we made our way back down to Times Square. Now, by this time it was about 6 PM, and Lucas and I had walked at least 100 blocks. By the time 7 o'clock rolled around, and we hadn't stopped walking, we were searching for a Starbucks like a drug addict searches for his next fix. We were exhausted! Finally, at 8 o'clock, we made our way to Columbus Circle to get on an A train headed towards the airport to meet my dad!

After meeting my dad around 9:30, we took an hour long, crazy taxi ride back to Brooklyn, let my dad drop off his belongings, and then we headed out into the city again! We were all starving and had planned on going to a big sushi buffet in Midtown, but instead we decided to investigate a restaurant called "Platters." Apparently this place has some of the most incredible Halal food around; as we were searching for it, we came across a street cart parked on the corner of 53rd and 6th (or somewhere in the vicinity) that had a line down the entire block, and this was "Platters." We debated standing in line, since it was nearly midnight and had started to rain, but we figured we might as well give it a chance, and everyone around said it would be worth it. We waited in this ridiculous line for 30 minutes, and all four of us can honestly tell you that it was the best decision we had ever made. I kid you not when I tell you that this was the most delicious lamb and rice combination I have ever eaten in my entire life! It was unbelievably delicious. After walking nearly 200 blocks in a single day, it was the perfect finish. Anyway, we finished this delicious cuisine, and my dad and I headed back to Brooklyn, the boys went back to their respective sleeping places, got home around 2 AM, and went to bed!

Claire's flight came in around 7 AM on Saturday morning, so we really didn't get much sleep on Friday night. I had a lot of homework due in the upcoming week, and so while my dad went to meet Claire and then into Manhattan, I stayed home for a little while and did some homework. Lucas met me around noon, we went and got coffee from a friend's cafe (for free too! Thank you Justin :) ) and then met up with my dad, Claire, and Hunter at the previously mentioned sushi buffet in Midtown. Delicious as well! Now, Lucas, Hunter, and I were absolutely exhausted from the day before, but my dad and Claire were quite refreshed and wanting to explore New York City. It was so tough to get myself to have as much energy and enthusiasm that I had had the previous day with Lucas, but I did it! I can't even remember exactly what we all did that day, but we definitely walked at least a good 100 blocks again. We ended up in Soho at Ray's Pizza (the actual original Ray's.. there are at least 10 in Manhattan that I've seen) and on the way there, Claire was aimlessly walking down the street and bumped right smack into Hilary Duff and her friend, and she didn't even realize it! It was hilarious. After dinner, we went to Little Italy for some dessert. Lucas headed back to Boston around 10 PM or so (miss you! xo) and the rest of us went home.

On Sunday, I had to leave around 7:30 to go babysit on the Upper West Side, but I planned on meeting my dad and Claire around 2 o'clock when I was to get off work. The mom of this kid ended up letting me leave around noon, but the two of them had bought tickets for the Guggenheim, so I just went back to Brooklyn to get some more homework done. I guess they did some more Manhattan exploring, but by dinner time, I met them at Katz' Delicatessen for a phenomenal sandwich dinner! Dad got pastrami on rye and the best matzo ball soup any of us have ever tasted, Claire got roast beef on rye, and I got turkey on rye. We each had one half of our own sandwiches and then split the other in half and gave one half of that to the others at the table, just so we could all have a taste of the deliciousness that was Katz' Deli. Yum!

Monday, I have class at 8 AM, so I have to be out of the house by 7 to catch the subway. My dad and Claire were going to leave later that morning to go up to New England to look at some colleges, so my dad came with me into Manhattan so he could take the train to the airport to rent a car. This past week for me was the epitome of a hell week; every class had a big assignment, a paper, or an exam due, each on a different day of the week. I had no breaks! I felt so awful because I literally had no time to chat or goof off. Every "free" second had to be spent studying or writing, and it was just ridiculous. My dad and Claire got back to New York on Wednesday afternoon for Claire's Wednesday evening flight back home, and my dad stayed in New York until yesterday afternoon! I had class all day on Thursday, but that night and all weekend, we just adventured around the city by day, eating dinner at a different restaurant and cuisine around my neighborhood by night. Whenever I was busy at school or working, my dad did some adventuring by himself, but for the most park, it was just me and dad! We rode bikes in Central Park, went to the Met, took the train out to Coney Island.. it was so so nice, I can't even tell you :)

Sometimes, which is a very often sometimes usually, I stop and think of how unbelievable it is that I'm living in New York City, going to school, and experiencing the most ridiculous city life possible. My dad is even more thrilled that I'm here that I am I think, and it was really nice to be able to experience and share that feeling of awe. I love you, Dad! Thank you for coming to visit me :) it's so comforting for me to know that those I love have a visual and an experience of where I'm living. Now my mom has to come visit!!

*note: upon further review (and advice) the previous video that I had posted was declared to be not that funny, so I'm bringing you some Kevin James stand-up instead :)

true friendship.

don't be afraid to shed a tear or twenty :)

I am he as you are he as you are me...

I had a dream last night that I believe was a continuation of a dream I had a couple of nights ago. The original dream was set in a courtroom, and I was testifying against a man who had snuck into my apartment. Apparently, I had returned home from school, and when he heard me opening the door, he jumped into the bathtub, where he remained for 27 minutes. Once I was in the middle of making dinner, he crept out the front door without taking anything, hurting me, or making a sound. I was confused as to why I had to testify against him.

Last night, I dreamt that the court was back in session, and midway through the proceedings, the judge decided to conduct an experiment. He decided to try to go back in time to that day when the man was hiding in my bathtub. This way, if I caught the man in the act of home invasion, it would be easier and quicker to get him behind bars. Why not? I figured. So, as I walked into my apartment that afternoon, knowing the man was hiding there, I tried to go about my routine in the same way I had before; however, as I walked into the bathroom, the man threw his arms into the shower curtain and began suffocating me with it. I ended up waking up mid-suffocation, my body tense, and I could feel my lungs and my vocal chords struggling with the coordination to cry out for help. I went to sleep very quickly after that, but the entire thing makes me very curious.

*

I feel so distraught right now, as if I should be sobbing, but I can't find a way to form a tear. I just finished watching the movie "Seven Pounds" with Will Smith, and it was one of the most powerful films I have seen in a very long time. I won't ruin the end because I think you should see it immediately; this man, despite his pain and despair, wants nothing more than spend his life helping people. It's strange how prevalent the message of that movie is in connection to things I've been thinking about lately. I think it is so important that we each do something in our lives that benefits someone else. Whether that be one person, ten people, or hundreds of people, that is up to the individual; nevertheless, acting selflessly is something that very few people actually practice, and it's a shame. The Pintupi (an aboriginal Australian group) base their entire life's philosophy on maintaining friendships and bonds between those who are close. A "relative" is someone who one cares about and has spent a lot of time with, not necessarily someone who is blood related. I read a quote in one of my textbooks that said "'Money is the main thing for whites; they don't worry who will cry for them when they die,'" and that really struck a chord for me. We tend to get so caught up in our monetary lives that we overlook the things that should take precedence. These things we tend to call "the little things," when in reality, they are quite far from it.

Please, think of someone who you appreciate, love, respect, or admire, and let them know how you feel. Cherish the love and happiness that you have in your life! Those "little" gestures usually pack the biggest punch; if you care about someone, why would you keep it inside? That one action could very well make more of an impact than you may ever know! Without wealth, status, materials, or ego, all we have is each other, and that should be of the utmost importance. We are all together.